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Interstellar Highway
Below are the 8 most recent journal entries.
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2009.08.10 02.31
The perfect unconditional person
and I dont want it
I want to ruin it
I want to be miserable
and hate life
I want to drown in my spoils
I want to color my world
hiding from whats really behind
I want you to hate me
But I cant live without someone
I cant do this
I dont want to stay here
I just what to destroy everything beautiful
because I dont deserve it
I just want to ruin it.
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2009.08.10 02.27
I am nothing
The one who screws up
messes up
what you want most
I cant be right
I cant be human
I do the same thing over and over
when will I stop
I dont know who I am anymore
I thought I was sure
but I dont do those things
that I always seem to do
Why is the right way to act?
What am I supposed to feel
I dont know what to do with me anymore.
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2009.07.09 03.24
Karmatic payback
When is it over?
Its over when its over.
But I feel like he has suffered enough.
The "gods" are taking this too far.
He may have "betrayed" our love that surpassed time, lifetimes, universes, and dimensions.
But I cant blame him for it anymore.
He has suffered enough.
Let go of your grasp.
I cant watch him suffer anymore.
How can I?
Its not fair now.
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2009.07.08 04.59
I'm afraid
Afraid he is dead.
Theres really no way to tell.
Did he really exist as who he said he was?
I miss him
I miss him
I dont know why
I hope he is not dead
I'm afraid
I'm scared
I loved him
But he threatened his life
in return he needed me to give him so much more of me
that I was able to give.
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2009.07.07 04.34
This is not for you
Back and forth, Back and forth.
It seems my mind is never made up.
What is it I want?
What is it we ever want?
Mood:  contemplative
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interstellarsky's journal